crossroad

would u trade flexibility for a stable condition named civil servant (PNS)?

this question has been in my head since forever..
its answer could be the key to end the never-ending debate between me and my parents..
however I'm running out of time..
and I'm on the edge right now..
already..on the edge..

the message coming to my handphone this saturday has made me restless until now..
I used to run from that question, yet it seemed like finally I reached my finish..
I have to make decision..and it could be the turning point for me..

I have to choose between my freedom..my dream..and my parents' satisfaction..
it's a crossroad..the crossroad of my life..
this crossroad has always been there...and I have always tried to avoid it..

mi parenta..
they are the persons I'm living for..
above everything in the world, I don't wanna let them down..
I don't wanna see their disappointment because of me..
I don't wanna see them upset..
because it's them who have brought me up..
build my wings..and teach me how to fly..

however, often happened, they are also the one that break my wings..
forbid me to fly..break my wings into pieces I can't mend..

my dream..my freedom..
I have always lived for it..
in order to live, I need it to stay alive in me..that's something I constantly tell myself..

mi parenta and my dream..
they are the uttermost important aspects of my life..
however, they seldom go in the same path..
and this crossroad I'm standing on now is the crossroad of them..

it's 2 days left..
I'm standing on a crossroad of my life..
the crossroad I used to avoid all the time..
now I need to pick my path..

now..
I need...
to pick my path..

and I don't know what to do..